


A Glimpse Underneath

by VampireNaomi



Category: Lupin III
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 14:05:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16389107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireNaomi/pseuds/VampireNaomi
Summary: Maybe the real monster wasn't the one that kidnapped him and spoke of killing his boyfriend. Takes place during episodes 8 and 9 of Part V.





	A Glimpse Underneath

**Author's Note:**

> For now, this is a missing scene type of fic to fill in some blanks in episodes 8 and 9, but I plan to use it as a starting point for a long multi-chapter Albert/Tickey fic as soon as I get my current WIP done.
> 
> If you squint, you can see past Lupin/Albert between the lines.

Lupin felt the piercing glare of his victim’s eyes on his back as he was setting up his laptop. Earlier, he’d done a quick online search on Tickey Pasco to get the surface details for his gig, but there were two things he needed from him in person. The first was a set of photos to create a model for 3D printing his face. The second was to make sure he wouldn’t get in the way.

Grabbing him had been a piece of cake. Tickey mostly worked on site, but he had a little studio set up in an apartment he was renting. As luck would have it, today he’d been editing pictures he’d taken at a science fair the day before. All Lupin had had to do was knock on the door, spray him in the face with knock-out gas, and tie him up. 

The effect had worn off quickly. A bigger dose would have made things simpler, but that came with risks, and Lupin didn’t want to cause Tickey more harm than necessary. He had nothing to do with the notebook. His only crime was having a terrible taste in men. The worst he deserved was spending the day tied up and suffering from a headache and a sore back.

It wasn’t Tickey he was itching to hurt. It was Albert.

As he waited for his laptop to be ready, Lupin took a quick glance around the apartment. It was sparse, holding almost no personal items. Most of the space was taken up by lights and props, a bookshelf and a desk with a computer. There was a single bed, but it was covered in magazines, cables and a few empty lens boxes that suggested it hadn’t been used in a while. Tickey probably spent his nights elsewhere.

Lupin rolled his eyes at the thought and turned around.

Tickey was glaring up at him, his face a mix of anger and apprehension, mostly the former. Lupin gave him half a point for that. Most people would have panicked when they woke up with their arms tied behind their back, unable to talk, and with a stranger in their apartment. Maybe that’d come later. That he wasn’t planning to hurt him didn’t mean he had to say that. He’d get more out of him if he was scared.

“Mind if I borrow your camera?” Lupin asked in a pleasant tone but didn’t wait for an answer. He’d covered Tickey’s mouth with tape to keep him from making noise.

Lupin pushed a memory card into the camera he’d grabbed from the desk - an expensive one that no doubt took better pictures than the one he kept hidden in his tie. A camera like this was impractical for someone who had to conceal gadgets in small spaces and run around a lot, but he couldn’t help but enjoy its weight in his hands.

He slipped the strap around his neck and took a test photo of Tickey sitting on the floor, zooming on his face. He spent some time fiddling with the color and light settings until he was satisfied. The mask he wanted to make had to be perfect. This wasn’t a case where he was slipping in as a random security guard nobody ever looked at twice. Every detail had to be right. He was going to impersonate Albert’s boyfriend. 

The thought twisted his stomach. Even after all these years, he couldn’t think about Albert without a hot throb of hatred. What had started out as rivalry had been well on its way into becoming something else. Or at least he’d thought so.

He lifted the lapel of his jacket to show the gun he had in his shoulder holster, then bent down so that he could look Tickey in the eyes.

“If you scream, you’re dead,” Lupin said and tore off the tape in one quick motion. A pained sound escaped Tickey’s mouth, but he didn’t shout for help.

“What do you want?” he asked, eyes fixed where Lupin had his gun.“I didn’t realize Lupin III was a kidnapper.”

Oh, oh, that was a surprise. Lupin wondered if Albert had told Tickey about his past, about him - about them. That’d be an act of the kind of trust that he didn’t think had ever existed between the two of them in the past. Would Albert really let someone that close?

“How do you know who I am?”

The look on Tickey’s face changed into confusion. “I was following the Lupin Game.”

Ah. Of course. Albert hadn’t told him anything. Lupin chose not to dwell on why the thought made the corners of his mouth tug into half a smile.

“What are you going to do to me?” Tickey asked.

“Depends on how well you can follow orders. Be still and put on a neutral expression,” Lupin said and raised the camera. He took multiple pictures from every angle he needed and pulled out the memory card. The wise thing to do would be getting out immediately and printing the mask elsewhere, but he was reluctant to leave.

He could always use some more information. Something personal that he couldn’t find online. It wouldn’t do if he raised Albert’s suspicions by making a trivial mistake. Maybe there were pet names between them. Albert had never liked using them for someone else, but Lupin still remembered the flustered delight he’d do his best to hide when someone said something sweet to him at just the right moment.

Tickey’s phone was on the desk by the computer. Lupin grabbed it, only to realize it required a fingerprint for him to access it. Well, that was no problem. He walked over to Tickey, knelt by his side and took what he needed.

“I doubt you’re after ransom money,” Tickey said. “Albert isn’t rich enough to be worth the time of someone who’s known for stealing national treasures. So I guess you’re hoping to put pressure on him. Is this about some case of his? If so, you must know that governments don’t -”

“Yeah, yeah,” Lupin cut him off, absent-mindedly reading through all the recent messages on Tickey’s phone. He pursed his lips when he saw that he had a WhatsApp group for his family and that Albert was in it. He made quick note of the fact that Tickey had two sisters before switching to the group that was just for him and Albert.

The messages were disappointing. Nothing juicy, just back and forth about work schedules and whose turn it was to grab groceries and toilet paper on the way home. How utterly mundane, Lupin thought and decided that any sense of adventure and excitement within Albert had to have withered long ago if _this_ was the life he’d chosen over staying with him.

“Pathetic,” he muttered in order to force away a new twinge in his gut. He and Fujiko had tried the same thing and failed.

The only thing that caught his attention was the most recent message from Tickey, saying that he’d have dinner ready when Albert came home, and the reply that the other would bring wine with him. Perfect. He didn’t need even a half-hearted excuse why he was going to show up at Albert’s place, and he’d get a chance to snoop around before he arrived.

He changed the security settings on the phone so that he could open it with a number code and slipped it into his pocket. Then, he began to move the pictures from the memory stick to his laptop where he’d already prepared the basics for the model he wanted to make.

“You guessed wrong. I’m not going to blackmail him,” he said and began to unpack the box he’d brought with him, under the guise of a delivery agent. It contained the printer he’d use to make his mask. “And I don’t have any demands, either.”

“Then what’s this all about?”

The word revenge was on Lupin’s lips, but he couldn’t make himself say it. That would have been the same as admitting that he was still hung up on what had happened years ago. He wasn’t doing this because he wanted to get back at Albert for walking out on him. He could have lived the rest of his life happy without seeing him ever again. But Albert had pulled him into his game. He had used a dead mentor’s face to lure him into this mess that had already gotten one innocent person killed.

It was only right if Lupin made use of his boyfriend to set him a trap.

“It’s a game,” he said. He thought that’d be the end of it and was about to turn back to his laptop, but that one word brought a curious look on Tickey’s face.

“That’s what Albert said. Just what is this game and why is he playing it with you?”

For the first time since he’d learned of his existence, Lupin felt something other than wry amusement for Tickey. He really didn’t know anything. He was caught in the web of Albert’s lies and wouldn’t even know where the bite came from when Albert decided he didn’t want him anymore.

He spent a moment turning this realization over in his head as he finished what he needed to do on his laptop. The printer would take care of the rest.

“If you know what’s good for you, you won’t go back to him,” he said.

“What?”

“What you said earlier, about how the government doesn’t negotiate with terrorists? If I was really using you for blackmail, you can bet Albert would be the first to say no to any negotiations and hide behind that convenient excuse. Nothing matters to him more than his goals.”

“That’s not true! You don’t even know him!”

“I know him better than you. He’s having fun with you for the time being, but the moment he thinks you’ve become a burden, he’ll drop you without a second thought. What do you even know about him? Have you ever met anyone from his family? Maybe he’s told you they’re all conveniently dead. Do you know where he went to school? Has he introduced you to any old friends?” Lupin brought an exaggerated, mournful expression on his face and pretended to wipe away a tear. “I bet his past is just a blank sheet of paper and he’s told you not to ask questions because it’s too painful to remember. Let’s focus on the future instead, hm?”

The stunned look on Tickey’s face was all he needed to know. He’d found a sore spot. It hadn’t even been hard. If Lupin was in Albert’s position, he’d use that exact sob story, then pepper it with some locations and memories that couldn’t be verified. Oh, I used to spend the summer holidays in this town with my parents when I was young. That’s the kind of dog I had while growing up. My grandmother always made the best vegetable stew.

“Aren’t you some kind of a… a con artist? Why should I believe anything you say? You’re just messing with me!”

“I’m a thief. I don’t lie. I steal.”

A defensive, if somewhat shaky, smirk climbed on Tickey’s face. “Makes no difference to me. A criminal is a criminal.”

“Hope you keep that in mind when you learn the truth about him.” Though maybe he never would. Lupin didn’t know what would happen between him and Albert that night, but he’d make sure that if Albert tried anything funny, he wouldn’t live long to enjoy it. It might be that the next time Tickey saw him, it’d be at his funeral.

If there was anything to bury. The bomb he was going to set, just in case, as a last resort, wasn’t for show. He’d only use it if Albert gave him no other choice, but unless he’d changed over the years, it’d probably come to that. Albert had always been one to get too excited and rush into dumb decisions when he thought he was winning. And he no longer had a partner who’d save his ass.

“Then why don’t you tell me?“ Tickey asked, a challenging edge in his voice.

“You wouldn’t believe me.” If someone had tried to tell him that Albert would just walk away from the life of thieving that he’d been raised in and abandon his claim to the Lupin name, he would have laughed. 

Tickey let out an annoyed sound that told Lupin he was right. And was it any wonder? Albert had put on a sweet face for him and played the role of an honest government official for years. Tickey wouldn’t believe a word from a known criminal who’d kidnapped him at his own apartment.

“Why do you need my face?” Tickey asked. Lupin looked behind him where the printer was doing its work. It was first class, so it would only take about an hour more until the mask was done, even with all the detail.

“I need him not to suspect anything.”

“Why?” This was the first time during the entire encounter that Tickey sounded scared. “What are you going to do to him?”

“Not kill him while wearing your face, if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

If he killed him, it’d be as himself. He wanted Albert to know that messing with him had been a mistake. The bastard had been so determined to cut off all ties to his old life. He should have never tried to reach back into it.

“Hey, no need to look so worried,” Lupin said, offering a crooked smile which did nothing to change the anxiety on Tickey’s face. “I’m just going to declaw him so that I won’t _have_ to kill him. Even if it would be doing a favor to everybody.”

Tickey spent a moment staring at him in disbelief, then pulled at the rope that tied his wrists to the old radiator behind him. The loud rattle surprised Lupin enough to make him take a step back and pull out his gun.

“What did I say about making noise?”

“If you hurt him, I’m going to -”

“There’s nothing you can do,” Lupin said, already bored, and decided that another dose of the knock-out gas was the simplest solution to this problem. Ignoring Tickey’s protests and attempts to kick him, he sprayed him in the face, not bothering to hold back this time, and only retreated once he was sure he’d be out cold for a few hours at least.

Lupin sighed and threw himself on Tickey’s computer chair, letting it swirl him around one time. When it stopped, he leaned his chin on his palm and gave the unconscious man on the floor a condoling glance.

No matter how things went that night, he had a feeling that sooner or later Tickey would end up with a broken heart.

***

Tickey woke up to a steady throbbing noise that was getting on his nerves. He groaned in protest and tried to swat away whatever it was that was bothering him so close to his ears, only to realize that he couldn’t move his arms and that the noise was coming from _inside_ his head. He opened his eyes, at first not recognizing where he was because it was so dark.

It wasn’t noise that was bothering him. It was pain, a horrible, dull pounding inside his skull that made him want to curl up and hide his head under a pillow. But he could barely move, and after he spent a moment panicking about why, he realized that he wasn’t just having a hangover. 

Even though he’d just established that moving was impossible, he still tried to bolt up. The act rewarded him with sharp pain in his wrists as the rope cut into them. He tried to yell, but there was tape over his mouth again, and all he managed was muffled moaning.

Lupin had been here. Everything that had happened hit him at once and filled him with icy dread. Last he remembered, there had still been daylight. How much time had passed? What had Lupin done? Was Albert okay?

He had to get free. What if that bastard had done something to Albert? What if he’d been captured, too, or injured? Or what if… What if he’d lost the game he and Lupin were playing? What happened to the loser? That fear and his complete inability to do anything about it made his chest feel like there wasn’t enough room for his lungs, and for a moment he had to close his eyes and focus on breathing through his nose. 

Calm down, calm down. No need to panic. Albert wasn’t the director of Judicial Police for nothing. He could handle one thief.

As soon as he felt better, Tickey opened his eyes again and tried to see anything useful in the room. His legs were untied, but there was nothing within reach. He wasn’t wearing shoes, so he doubted he could make enough noise to get the neighbours’ attention just by banging his feet on the floor. Nothing in his pockets, not that he could have reached them with his hands tied.

He flexed his fingers experimentally. Even after hours, he still felt them. The rope was biting into his skin, but Lupin had tied him up with care to make sure there’d be as little damage as possible. Tickey couldn’t bring himself to feel much gratitude.

Would he have to sit here until morning? He had a meeting scheduled with a client at ten, but would even she grow suspicious if he didn’t show up? How long would it be until someone thought it necessary to force open the door to his studio?

He rolled his shoulders in an attempt to ease the ache in his back and pulled at his wrists. The rope wouldn’t give in, but maybe it wouldn’t have to. The radiator behind him was a piece of junk that was as old as the building and barely worked. In winter, he liked to joke with Albert that the best thing about dating him was getting to spend the night somewhere warm.

Tickey was glad he’d never bothered to have the radiator replaced. Maybe it’d save him now. He didn’t have enough strength in his arms to tear it off the wall, but if he could get his feet under him and use his entire body weight, just maybe.

It took some struggling, a few failed attempts and feeling like he’d permanently sprained some muscle in his back he hadn’t even noticed before, but eventually he was able to crouch on his feet. He leaned forward, even as his arms and wrists burned in protest, and hoped it’d be enough.

Come on, you damn thing! This is no time to be sturdy! Break! Please!

He couldn’t feel the radiator even budge, and despair began to squeeze his heart, but then there was a horrifying snap and he fell down, the weight of the radiator following him. His chin hit the floor and his teeth clacked together, but mercifully he didn’t bite his tongue.

He spent a moment letting his heartbeat slow and then struggled to his feet. He was still attached to the radiator, but at least he could move, and that meant he could make noise. He threw himself and the radiator against the front door, then again and again. He’d given a spare key to the old man next door so that he’d water his pet plant whenever he had to travel long for work.

Sure enough, it took only a few minutes before he heard a voice on the other side, asking him if everything was okay. Tickey replied in a muffled shout, and a couple of moments and a click of the lock later light poured into the room as Mr. Vincent opened the door.

“What the - What’s going on?”

The man removed the tape, then went back to his place to get a knife for cutting the rope. He said he’d call the police, but Tickey told him it wasn’t necessary. He didn’t have the time to wait for the police to show up and take statements, he had to go out _now_ and find out what had happened to Albert.

“Can you call me a cab and lend me some money? I’ll pay you back tomorrow, but there’s something I have to do, and he… he took my phone and wallet and… I don’t know...”

Vincent grabbed his arms when he swayed on his feet. “Who’s he? Come on, I’ll make you a cup of tea. With a drop of brandy; that’ll do you good.”

Tickey shook his head. “I have to see Albert. I have to. He’s...” What escaped him next weren’t words, and he covered his mouth with his hands to keep the sobs inside. He was shaking and couldn’t do anything when Vincent led him to his apartment and made him sit on the couch. He kept swallowing to drive away the urge to throw up. The old man sat there and waited until he was done.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m acting like this,” he said.

Vincent put a glass on the table in front of him. He’d skipped the tea entirely. 

“Look at you. I _am_ calling the cops.”

“No. Please. This is connected to Albert’s job. He’ll take care of it. It’s better that way.” Albert was protective over his work. He wouldn’t like getting the regular police involved in his game with Lupin. Tickey wouldn’t have cared about it one bit if there was even a slight chance the police might be able to save Albert, but he had nothing concrete to tell them. They’d just slow everything down and get in the way.

He pushed away the brandy, not trusting himself to be able to keep anything inside. He got back on his feet, and this time Vincent didn’t try to stop him.

“I’ll drive you,” the old man said. “If it’s that important.”

It took almost twenty minutes until they were at Albert’s apartment. Tickey asked to have the radio on the whole time, but there was nothing being reported that could be connected to Lupin. It only made him more nervous. Not knowing and having his imagination play the most horrifying scenarios for him was unbearable.

There was no light in the windows when Vincent stopped the car.

“Are you going to be alright?” he asked.

“Yeah, I can take it from here.”

It was only a few minutes later that he realized Lupin had taken his key to Albert’s apartment and that he had no way to get in if there was nobody there. He stopped outside, feeling utterly helpless for a moment. Then he realized what an idiot he was.

Albert lived in an apartment building where the rent was so high that Tickey didn’t even want to hear what he paid every month. The residents were used to having someone at their beck and call around the clock, so there was a building manager at the reception downstairs if anyone needed anything.

“Oh, Mr. Pasco. Did you forget something?”

“Yeah, I think I left my keys inside. Sorry to be a bother.”

“Not at all. I’ll let you in.”

Tickey didn’t like the man’s words. Lupin had already left, having taken care of whatever he had come to do. And by the sound of it, Albert wasn’t at home.

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” he said with a tired smile when the man let him in. As soon as the door was closed once again, he flipped the nearest light switch and ran from one room to another, turning on all the lights.

Everything looked normal. There was food in the kitchen. No blood or turned-over furniture. The kitchen knives were in the correct place. He didn’t know what gunpowder smelled like, but he was sure he would have noticed if a gun had been fired recently.

He slumped on the couch and turned on the TV. There was a report on the up-coming elections on one channel, a romantic movie on another, reality TV and a war documentary on the rest that he checked. Nothing about Albert, Lupin, or mysterious murders. He turned off the TV, angry that it wouldn’t tell him what he wanted to know.

Tickey lied on the couch for a while and listened to the silence in the apartment. When he could take it no longer, he jumped up and began pacing from room to room. He stopped when he was back in the living room and noticed Albert’s tie thrown over the backrest. He grabbed it and found that playing with it in his hands eased his raw nerves somewhat.

Come on, Albert. Get back home already. Be okay. I’ll do anything if you just come back. Please.

It was close to midnight when there was noise at the door. Tickey was on his feet even before he saw Albert stumble in.

“Albert! You’re back! I was starting to think -”

“What are you doing here?”

The exasperated tone was surprising, but Tickey paid it no mind as he hurried to him. Albert was wet from head to toe, dripping water on the expensive hardwood floor. He had to have fallen into Lupin’s trap, but he’d gotten out. Nothing else mattered.

Tickey pressed his forehead against Albert’s drenched shirt. “I’m so glad Lupin didn’t hurt you.”

“How do you know about him?”

Tickey looked up when Albert grabbed his arms, hard enough that it hurt. He was glaring at him, a shaken look in his eyes that made him look like he was on the brink of snapping. Was this really his boyfriend or a stranger who’d walked in?

“He came over to my place. He trapped me in my studio so I couldn’t warn you. Albert, he said he was ready to kill you! I got here as soon as I was able to escape, and when you weren’t here -”

“Did you call the police?”

“No, he took my phone. Mr. Vincent wanted to, but I asked him to wait.”

“Did you tell him about Lupin?”

“No, I had too much on my mind and -”

“That’s good.” Albert’s hold on his arms relaxed, then his hands slid down to rest on Tickey’s waist. “I’ll talk to him. This is confidential. Nobody must know about Lupin.”

“What happened?”

“It’s better you don’t know too much, either.”

“But -”

Albert silenced him with a quick peck to the lips and moved past him into the apartment. Tickey followed him, his irritation growing by the second. How could he act that nonchalant about the whole thing?

“I was worried about you! I thought I’d never see you again!”

“As if Lupin would ever be enough to kill me.” 

Tickey couldn’t tell if Albert’s tone sounded like he was filled to the brim with contempt for the man, or if he was ready to start laughing in amusement. It was bizarre, and he wondered if he was always like this when his work got intense, if he just hadn’t seen this side of him before.

“Well, _I_ thought he might be! I’m not a cop! I’m not used to being tied up and having to listen to someone tell me he’s going to kill my boyfriend and that there’s nothing I can do about it!” He’d been scared for his own life, too. Hadn’t Albert been worried about him? Why wasn’t he relieved that he was alive and well, too? Lupin could have killed him before taking his place.

Albert stared at him, at first in confusion, then in alarm, like it was only now dawning on him how many things he’d overlooked. He returned to him and put his hands back on his arms, feeling around gently.

“I’m sorry. I got carried away. Did he hurt you?”

“I’ll have some bruises from the ropes, but that’s not the point. Why was he after you?”

“He’s a world famous criminal, and I lead one of the largest police organizations in France. I guess he wanted to show off what he can do.”

“It sounded more personal than that.”

“What did he tell you?”

“Nothing. But it sounded like he knew you.”

“We’ve met before.”

“And?”

“That’s not something I can freely discuss.”

That was how it always was. Albert didn’t talk about his job. Tickey didn’t normally care since he knew Albert dealt with serious crime, and he wasn’t itching to get any morbid details. Sitting through a horror movie was hard enough. He didn’t think he could handle something that had happened to real people. But this time he was right in the middle of it. He felt he had the right to know why he’d been through such an ordeal.

“Is he going to come back?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. He’s going to be... busy for quite a while. There’s nothing for you to worry about. But if you want to be sure, maybe you should travel and visit your parents for some days.”

“Come with me.”

Albert’s smile was lopsided. “Sorry. I’m going to be busy, too, cleaning this up. Lupin didn’t get what he wanted, but things didn’t go according to my plans, either. I have to save what I can.”

The brush of his thumb along his ear was the last affectionate gesture he was going to get out of him that night, Tickey knew. When Albert threw himself into work, everything else stopped mattering. He wanted tonight to be an exception. Tonight he wanted to be held like he was the most important thing in Albert’s life.

“Can’t it wait until morning?” he asked.

“No, this is too big. Every second I waste could be the one to decide how this goes.”

Waste, huh? Tickey glared at Albert, but he either didn’t notice or pretended not to.

“Lupin isn’t going to bother you again. He won’t try the same trick a second time. You don’t have to worry about anything. Just go to bed. I’ll be there when I’m done.”

“I take it there’s no point in waiting for you?”

“It might be a while.”

Tickey hated how Albert was talking to him, so gentle and understanding on the surface. They’d been together long enough that he’d learned to see when his impatience was about to begin seeping through the cracks. It was his job that made him like that. Whenever there was something big going on, it felt like he put on a mask and started to play a role. He was kind to him, but it felt like he’d left his heart at the office and was just going through the motions. The difference was subtle, and Tickey was sure Albert didn’t know he’d even noticed. He was too smug.

Don’t underestimate a photographer, he thought in annoyance after the door to the bedroom had closed after him. He had a good eye for detail.

Up until now, he’d assumed Albert was doing it to protect them both. His job wasn’t easy, and he wasn’t allowed to talk about most of it. It only made sense that he wanted to preserve the normalcy of his private life and have a place where he could escape the stress. But now Tickey couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t the other way around. Maybe what he was really protecting was his work.

What was it that Lupin had said? That Albert would drop him as soon as he became a burden?

Tickey knew he should have laughed at how ridiculous it was that he was even entertaining the possibility that the criminal’s words held any truth. And he would laugh, together with Albert, as they were having breakfast together the following morning. But right now he was alone in the dark bedroom, in a bed that was too big for one person, and Albert was neglecting what should have been his number one job at the moment - kissing him until he forgot about the bruises on his wrists and the chilling memory of not knowing if he was ever coming back.

He lay awake for hours, already about to give up hope that Albert would join him. When the door opened some time between three and four in the morning, there was no light in the other room. Tickey only heard Albert walk in and felt the mattress dip under him.

“All done with work?”

“For now. Did I wake you?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Albert sighed in the dark. “I know my priorities were in the wrong place tonight. I’m sorry. But sometimes my work has to come before anything else.”

His words were an eerie reminder of what Tickey had been thinking about before. He was glad when Albert reached an arm over his shoulder to pull him close. That was real, not his paranoid speculations.

“I called your neighbor,” Albert said. “He agreed that it’s better if this incident doesn’t become widely known. It’s the best for everyone that you act like nothing happened when you next see him.”

Tickey couldn’t help but laugh. “That sounds like you bought his silence. Are we in a spy movie now?”

“Hmm.” Albert’s voice was sleepy, his breath warm against Tickey’s ear as he said, barely a whisper, “I just think needless casualties would be a shame. People who stick their nose into things that aren’t their business tend to have accidents.”

Tickey jerked away. Albert’s jokes were often teetering on the edge to distasteful, but this was vile. It was like cold water poured all over him. After he’d spent the day tied up and cried because he’d thought Albert might get murdered, he didn’t want to hear snide asides about anyone’s death.

The weight of Albert’s arm didn’t come back.

“Sorry. Let’s just call it a night. We can talk more in the morning.”

Tickey didn’t sleep. He listened to Albert’s steady breathing by his side and thought about Lupin again. He was a trickster and a showman, the tabloids said. It wouldn’t be out of character for him to invent horrible lies about his boyfriend just to mess with him. But the disgust when he’d spat out the words had seemed real, like he’d experienced first hand what it was like to be left behind. Would he really put that much effort into a cruel joke?

That made him recall another thing Lupin had said. He didn’t know anything about Albert from before they’d met. He was vague when talking about his family, and all Tickey had gotten out of him was that they weren’t in touch. He’d assumed it was because Albert’s family didn’t accept him, so he’d stopped asking and focused on making sure he felt welcome in his. Maybe he should have pried more.

He’d tried to google him many times to find embarrassing old photos or social media accounts, but Albert’s past was a black void. Not everyone liked to post everything online, he’d reasoned, but maybe he should have wondered if it was normal for someone to have no Internet presence at all. Every search result about Albert was just a news article about his work and only had surface details released to the media.

He didn’t know anything about Albert’s past. He didn’t know anything about his work. All he had was the time they spent together, but was it enough? Was it even the real Albert he’d fallen in love with, or only a side of him he’d chosen to share with him? What would he think of the rest of him, the parts he was hiding?

This wasn’t the first time he lay awake thinking about this, but until now, he’d always been able to convince himself that he was being paranoid. Now, a complete stranger had voiced some of the exact worries that had been nagging at him ever since he’d realized that every piece of information Albert gave him about himself led to a dead end. Literally - everyone who seemed to have known him personally was dead.

Back when they’d only been going out for fun, it hadn’t mattered that he didn’t have the details. It had been a relief, in the beginning, that he could go back home and live his life without any strings attached. Now that he was at a stage when he was considering moving his pet plant from his studio into Albert’s apartment, he needed to know more.

Tickey had friends who were good at sniffing out secrets, and sometimes he’d wondered if he should ask one of them for a favor. But it wouldn’t feel right to hear the truth like that. He wanted Albert to tell him who he really was. 

Nothing matters to him more than his goals. That was what Lupin had said. Tickey didn’t even know what goals those were. Why did that criminal know so much about Albert? More than he did?

It was too dark to see his features, but Tickey turned towards Albert anyway.

Why do you want me out of the way, he wondered. Because that was obvious all of a sudden. That’s why he’d told him to go see his parents. Something was going to happen in Paris, and Albert didn’t want him to be there to see it.

If he said it was to protect him, he’d understand. Tickey had no interest in getting involved with fighting crime. He knew he’d just be in the way. But if he couldn’t even know what it was, how much of a future did he have with Albert? Did Albert even want them to have a future together? Was Tickey the only one imagining where they might be a few years from now?

Lupin had said Albert was just having fun with him.

As soon as he was done thinking that, Tickey felt like an idiot about the whole thing. Nobody could be that good of an actor. Nobody could fake their entire life. There had to be a good explanation for everything. He shouldn’t let himself be shaken by a man who was a wanted criminal in every country in the world. 

After all, he reminded himself, Albert worked for the government. He and Lupin were enemies by default. Lupin didn’t need a personal reason to hate him.

And if Albert truly had a horrible, secret past, would they let him be such a public figure? He was often in the news and gave statements about big cases. Surely there’d been extensive background checks or he would have never been able to rise to his position. Some journalist or political enemy would have gotten curious and looked into it, hoping for a scandal.

There was no way he could have woven such a complicated web of lies and conspiracies that it’d hold. The truth had to be something mundane, just wrapped in red tape.

Tickey felt some relief over this realization. He was doubting everything because he was still rattled by what he’d been through, and Albert’s lack of concern had left him feeling like he didn’t matter. Lupin’s words had only made sense because he’d found a way to worm into the insecurities that were already there.

He’d do as Albert had said. He’d visit his parents and let him finish his game with Lupin. Once everything was back to normal, they’d talk, and he’d tell him that he needed to feel that Albert trusted him.

Albert would understand. His loving words and gestures couldn’t have all been lies.


End file.
